As anyone who is following us knows we are a 2SLGBTQIA+ shop that leans into that. Given that we often feel that we should do something for Nation Coming Out Day. But in all honesty we forget about it until it happens. This year I managed to remember this morning, but it took me until well into the afternoon to decide what I wanted to do. We are also very neurodivergent folks so these last minute decisions happen quite a lot.
Anyway this year we decided just to do a blog touching on our own coming out stories and how our queerness has effected out work.
Tina:
I was very lucky to grow up in a family where I never felt the need to come out, I just dated whoever I wanted. I was also surrounded by queer or accepting friends. This should have made it easier to understand myself, but this was the 90's. And, at least in my community, that meant that all you heard about was gay, straight, bi, and very rarely trans folks. That was a lot more than a lot of people had, but it left me not really sure about myself.
I think my most common discussion on sexuality in high school went:
Friend: What are you?
Me: I don't know. I don't care.
This went on until college where a friend informed me while taking a class on sexuality that I was probably pansexual. They were very close. I'm panromantic. Still pansexual seemed to fit. After all I felt roughly the same amount of attraction to everyone. So when people asked me I would say that I was pan.
The problem was that that same amount was almost none. I didn't realize I was ace until surprisingly late, not until Cyn and I decided to get married. Coming out for that was nothing more then telling a handful of people in passing.
Like I said, I'm a fairly privet person so I didn't talk about it overly much and outside of my marriage I didn't think it really mattered until I started working with younger folks and found being willing to talk about being queer, any type of queer, made them feel safe taking through the struggles they were going through with it.
That was the point I started talking about my sexuality and the point at which it started effecting my work. I didn't grow up with a lot of representation and I wanted to do what I could to be part of creating more.
It was still a long time before I started thinking about my gender. No, not quite correct. I had questioned my gender since I was a child. But when I was little I figured that since I didn't always want to be a boy that meant I wasn't trans and that was it to my understanding at that age. By the time I was in high school I was often mistaken for a boy and had a lot of folks think I was trans, but I still knew I didn't want to be a boy. I just also knew that I didn't fit in with the girls.
Now I say I'm agender, but I'm still figuring out if that fits how I feel. I think this one has effected my personal art more then the artwork I do for the shop.
Cynthia:
All through high school and well into college I thought I was straight. I thought girls were pretty, but boys had the "equipment" I wanted (yes, I know girls can buy theirs :) ) and boys were what I was supposed to want. I grew up in a very small conservative town in NW Ohio, and the girls at my school that had come out as lesbian or bi were often ostracized and made fun of, though less as I got to Junior/Senior year, and I wouldn't have been brave enough to be open about it back then.
When I went to college subjects like sexuality came up more often, and more openly. That's when I figured out I was bi, but what I said at the time was "I'm bi, but lean towards guys" which was also not correct. I'm fairly certain I said that through the beginning of Tina and I's marriage.
Being bi hasn't really affected my work, outside of what Tina mentioned in her section - the other Millennials and Gen Z's that we worked with before starting Taylor and Cromwell really opened up to us when they found out we were married/together - and that was really nice. It was really nice being able to provide the representation that I didn't have when I was younger. I want to provide representation and acceptance as much as I can, because it hasn't always been an easy thing for me to be open about.
Tina and I marrying wasn't a happy thing for all of my family. Several family members didn't come to our wedding because they 'didn't understand' or didn't approve. A few years ago one of my Aunts spent my Grandpa's funeral introducing Tina to everyone as my 'friend' even though we were married, but I was/am secure enough in myself and my situation that I had no problem correcting her. It was rather funny, because my Grandma's cousins didn't care at all, and they really like Tina, and my Aunt had no idea what to do with that.
But yeah, I'm pretty secure in myself and my sexuality, though, honestly, it's been so long since I found a man attractive (that I can think of) that I just googled 'attractive male celebrities' to see if I do at all. The answer? Kinda Thor, definitely Deadpool (or really just Ryan Reynolds). Which just sent me into a 'Am I actually a lesbian?' spiral. I wouldn't have an issue with it, but it would be a little overwhelming to figure that out while writing a blog post!
In any case, the answer is still no, but I definitely like women and non-binary people more then most men.
For Taylor and Cromwell, Tina and I being very open about being part of the 2SLGBTQA+ community has helped our business immensely. Some of our earliest patterns were pride themed (pride Corgi's!) and one of our earlier pride patterns is still the banner photo for a cross stitch group on FB, and it's sent many customers our way, which has been great.
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